I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
