dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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