They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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