CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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