I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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