i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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