cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize