The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
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I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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