Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
