How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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