Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
