According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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