No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
