Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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