they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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