Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
