I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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