.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She's the barista slut.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
