dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
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im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
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so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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