Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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