took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
