it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
