Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This is the high leading the old right now
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
