walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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