remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I stole a fireplace last night.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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