Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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