He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
