meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
