she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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