He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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