I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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