We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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