New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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