I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize