My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Welp...herpes.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize