You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
third nipple confirmed
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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