When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize