I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
