my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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