I wish I only lived at night.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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