Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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