I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
