I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
