so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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