She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
