I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
