Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
