Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
