ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
