his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
