Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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