I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have feelings that need drinking.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
