I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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