You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
