He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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