I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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