so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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