Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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