I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
