Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
