I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
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do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
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We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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